Treat everyone with kindness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice but because you are nice.

~Unknown

Hmmn… So many things have happened. I don’t know where to start.

CuteNews seems to be working fine for me. I’m using it on another site. I’m not planning to switch my blog from WordPress to CuteNews so don’t worry. hehe. I love WordPress. Oh, I’ve just noticed - I’ve been getting more spam ever since I changed Transient Dreams’ privacy settings. Moonlight Reverie has been revamped. I’ve been helping Monica with 742, Epic and Legend. I’ve also been working on the Midheaven Archives, aka The Midheaven Library so please check it out when you have time. I’ve acquired some new books. I still have hundreds of books, DVDs and CDs to list though.

Aside from that, I’ve just been playing TCGs. I’m concentrating on The Grey Havens because the War of the Ring (it’s a monthly game at GH) is almost over. I’ve made all the donations I can make for this month (8 link buttons, 4 master badges, 18 level badges, 1 deck images donation - I still have one more to complete) and entered two of the three ongoing contests. Lookie:

+ DONATIONS +
link button

master badge

level badge

+ CONTESTS +
avatars

header - click here

You may use the two avatars I made but please be sure to credit me. I’m still thinking about whether or not to enter the last contest (blends). I’ll have to see whether my team is ahead. hehe. I want to win!

I mentioned the irresponsible/unreliable buyer in my previous post right? Well, everything worked out. I contacted the people who’ve bought stuff from me before and they’re interested in purchasing the boxsets. *whew. Plus, it looks like the people who’ve borrowed a significant (meaning HUGE) amount of money from me will be returning MOST if not all of it soon. Yay!

And about my entrance exam results… I’ve been putting off blogging because I didn’t want to jinx it. Well… I PASSED! I PASSED! I PASSED! LOL. I had a bit of a scare when I went to confirm my enrollment though. When they released my exam results, they couldn’t find my flowchart. I thought that meant that I didn’t pass but it turned out that they weren’t finished crediting my subjects. Anyway, I got my flowchart last Monday during enrollment confirmation and all of my minor subjects were credited. I still have to take a few subjects that I didn’t have in my flowchart for my BS Psychology degree but it’s all good - well, except for Business Math. I thought I’d never have to take Math again. haha! So here’s the list of subjects that I’ll be taking for the next..uh, two years - I think.

GENERAL EDUCATION SUBJECTS
I’m planning to take all of them in my first term. If that’s not possible, I’ll spread them out in my first two terms.
NATSCA1 - Human Factors in Design (I think I’m going to like this)
PEONEPF - Physical Fitness (gaaaah! I thought I wouldn’t have to a P.E. class again!)
BMAT2-X - Business Mathematics 2 *conducted as an extended class of 4.5 hours a week (*sigh…)
PHILOMA - Philosophy of Man (yay! I always wanted to take a Philo course. I only had Critical Thinking.)
HARTDS1 - History of Art and Design 1 (I think this is going to be interesting)
NATSCA2 - Environmental Factors in Design (I’m probably going to like this too)

INSTITUTIONAL SUBJECTS
I’ve taken them before but since they’re institutional, I’ll have to take them again.
ORDEV-A - Orientation and Development of Values A
ORDEV-B - Orientation and Development of Values B
ORDEV-C - Orientation and Development of Values C

DESIGN FOUNDATION SUBJECTS
I love them already!
COLREND - Color Theory and Rendering
COMGRAP - Computer Graphics
DESPRIN - Principles of Design
FOTOGRA - Basic and Digital Photography
FREHAND - Freehand Drawing
HARTDS2 - History of Art and Design 2
PARTDES - Philippine Design History
PROFES1 - Design Professions and Code of Ethics

MAJOR SUBJECTS
I can’t wait!
2DANIM1 - 2D Animation 1
2DANIM2 - 2D Animation 2
2DANIM3 - 2D Animation 3
3DANIM1 - 3D Animation 1
3DANIM2 - 3D Animation 2
3DANIM3 - 3D Animation 3
AUTHOR1 - Interactive Authoring 1
AUTHOR2 - Interactive Authoring 2
AUTHOR3 - Interactive Authoring 3
CADVIS1 - Computer Aided Design Visualization 1
CADVIS2 - Computer Aided Design Visualization 2
CNCTPHO - Concept Photography
DESKPUB - Desktop Publishing
DESNCON - Design Concepts for Multimedia Arts
MMABIZ1 - Multimedia Arts Business 1
MMABIZ2 - Multimedia Arts Business 2
MMA-OJT - Multimedia Arts On the Job Training
MMPRFOL - Multimedia Arts Portfolio Production and Exhibit
MMPROJ1 - Multimedia Arts Design and Production
MMPROJ2 - Multimedia Arts Post-production and Exhibit
MSCIETY - Multimedia Arts in Society
SONDESN - Sound Design for Multimedia Arts
TECHDRW - Technical Drawing and Drafting
VIDPRD1 - Video Pre-production in Multimedia
VIDPRD2 - Video Production in Multimedia
VIDPRD3 - Video Post-production in Multimedia
WEBDEV1 - Webpage Design and Development 1
WEBDEV2 - Webpage Design and Development 2
WEBDEV3 - Webpage Design and Development 3

ELECTIVE SUBJECTS (15 units only)
ELECT-1 - Multimedia Arts Elective 1
ELECT-2 - Multimedia Arts Elective 2
ELECT-3 - Multimedia Arts Elective 3
ELECT-4 - Multimedia Arts Elective 4
ELECT-5 - Multimedia Arts Elective 5

Enrollment is on the 2nd of May. I’ve estimated my tuition fee and based on my calculations, it’d be between 30-40K. I used the freshman tuition and fees table for SY 2007-2008 - a full load of 21 units amounts to PHP 52,207.00 - hehe. It’s a good thing I’m a second degree student instead of a freshman. Not only do I have a smaller tuition, I get to arrange my schedule according to my preference. It still depends on the availability of the subjects I want to take. But if my schedule turns out the way I want it to, I’ll be able to get a full-time job. If not, a part-time job would still be great.

And speaking of school, I met my mom’s cousin’s daughter (that means she’s my cousin too right?) a few weeks ago. She studied at the school where I’ll be taking my second degree but she dropped out because she got into a big mess - a group of people set her up - I won’t go into details. It’s sad that I wasn’t able to meet her before it happened… My mom says that she’s changed a lot. She used to be so enthusiastic. Now she’s so withdrawn..even reclusive. She doesn’t seem to want to talk to anyone anymore - she used to text me before. We were both excited to meet each other. *sigh… I hope she’ll be okay…

I still hate guys. But hate is such a strong word… So that statement is not entirely true. I’m just frustrated. Love is so elusive. Well, it’s not like I’m actually looking for someone - “the one” - whatever. I’m still missing him and sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out until I can’t cry anymore or my heart is so hard that I can’t even smile. Call it self-preservation. I just don’t know how I’ll survive this heartache. I barely got out of the last one with my heart intact. (I know he‘ll tell me that I need to make a conscious decision to move on but I already know that! I just…gaaah. I’ll admit it, I don’t want to. I feel like I’m not ready.) I just felt so emotionally-bruised and drained from all that happened. I didn’t think I could trust another guy after all that drama. But then he came. I was really happy with him. I can’t imagine having another relationship as deep as the one I had with him. I felt so alive..I felt more like myself with every day that we spent together. I was able to write another poem - after THREE YEARS of being uninspired (it’s not finished though..and I probably won’t share it here, sorry). But I’m trying to move on - emphasis on trying because I don’t seem to be trying very hard. It’s just so hard to let go of someone you love so much, knowing that he loves you too.

In another place and time…
I’d hold you in my arms.
Die a little death,
feel you smile,
drown in your gaze.
One last kiss.
Farewell.
We’ll meet again.
Never to return.

Did that make sense to you? Maybe not. I know he would understand. If parallel universes do exist - and I hope they do - maybe our alternate selves are together right now, happy. As long as I believe a world like that exists - a world where the two of us would never be torn apart, I’ll be happy too. Because I have to believe that a love like ours..like the one we had..can last.

I’m sorry I can’t reply to your comments right now. I’m really tired - I just wanted to post this entry because it’s been gathering dust for quite a few days now. I cooked up a snack for my goddaughter - it involves a rolling pin, white bread, non-fat milk, bread crumbs, salami and melted cheese. Very, very, very yummy! I might post the recipe if you ask very nicely. hehe. And now I leave you with a quote from Viggo - because I’ve been gathering pictures of him for another image donation at GH AND because he’s a beautiful, beautiful man (actor, poet, musician, photographer, artist and father - he’s amazing!).

Be kind. It’s worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them. If you allow yourself to be somewhat curious — and if you get into the habit of doing that—it’s the first step to being open minded… and realizing that your points of view aren’t totally opposite. I don’t think anyone’s are, in the end. It’s just a question of finding out by spending time with them or giving their ideas a chance to be considered.

~Viggo Mortensen, 2004

BTW, this entry is entitled Seriously! because I first started writing it after watching episode 19 of Grey’s Anatomy, Season 3.

Seriously.

Superman isn’t brave. You can’t be brave if you’re indestructible. It’s everyday people like me and you that are brave, knowing we can easily be defeated but still continuing forward. That’s TRUE bravery.

~Unknown

I have just realized that I haven’t introduced you to my alter ego, Anne. My friends refer to her as my “evil twin sister.” But she’s not exactly evil. She just does things that I, Fatima wouldn’t normally do. And before you all come to the conclusion that I’m psychotic, I can assure you that I’m not (hmmn… I think I’m mostly just neurotic. haha. j/k!). This is just an attempt to let you all see a different side of me. So watch out for Anne’s posts…

I’ve been busy playing TCGs again. hehe. That’s basically it. I’ve tweaked some pages around Moonlight Reverie and added a PHP code displaying the “Last Updated” info on some of the main pages. I’m trying to work around one of my webring codes because the XHTML won’t validate..I might just have to take that code off. BTW, what do you guys think of CuteNews? I’m a bit worried about that script. I heard that there are a lot of security risks.

Last night, I got REALLY mad. Someone ordered a DVD boxset from me and all of a sudden she just told me that she’s not sure if she’d still be getting it. See, I wouldn’t have gotten angry if the boxset didn’t have to be ordered from another country! I went through a whole lot of trouble just to get her that boxset and then she tells me that she was really looking for a VCD boxset. She kept insisting that I never told her it was a DVD boxset - the nerve! If she actually paid attention to my listings, she’d know that we DON’T sell VCDs. We only sell original DVD boxsets. If I knew her personally, I’d make her life miserable! I’d make sure no one would ever take an order from her again. But then I don’t..besides, that’s Anne talking. I’m too nice to do something like that. Gaaaah! Sometimes I just hate myself immensely. Why can’t I be mean enough to do stuff like that to people who deserve it? I really, really HATE irresponsible and unreliable buyers. She not only wasted my time AND load, she’ll be wasting my hard-earned money. And to tell you the truth, I’m practically broke right now. Plus, I still need to pay for my hosting bill and domain registration AND set aside spending money for when I’m back in school - if I go back to school. It all depends on if we can still pay for my tuition. If not, well..I might just have to reconcile myself with being stuck in Psychology.

Moment of truth. Okay, it’s not now..or even later. I’ll find out if I passed the entrance exam on Monday. Pray for me?

I think we’re okay now. I still don’t trust him and I’m afraid I never will again but..at least we’re still friends. I dunno… I guess we’re not really friends - at least, I don’t think so. I just don’t feel comfortable around him anymore. Friends are supposed to enjoy each other’s company but I don’t even like being near him at all. It’s true what Je said: “There’s a reason why exes are exes.” AND why they should stay exes. I think he’s still immature. AND selfish. Ugh. I hate guys.

All a girl really needs is a guy, just one guy, who’s man enough to prove to her that not all men are the same.

~Unknown

He called the other day (I’m talking about someone else here) but I wasn’t able to answer his calls. I’m not sure what’s going on between us anymore. We haven’t talked in months! And I doubt he even misses me anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. And he has his friends. He‘ll probably forget about me soon enough.

I miss him so much… *sob.

I wonder if I’ll ever find someone who loves me as much as he did… Maybe I’m doomed to find love over and over again but never be able to be with the person I love. Love sucks.

First of all, thank you so much for the 15 comments!!! I miss the days when I used to get 30 or more comments on each entry. haha. I dunno… I just like hearing other people’s thoughts. Sarah, I’ve missed you! It’s okay, I know you’re really busy. Thank you for commenting! I really appreciate it. *gulp* I feel really bad about the long-overdue email. I’ve started writing it a couple of times but I just don’t know where to start. I’ll finish that email eventually - I’m challenging myself to finish it before our birthdays! Chau, I think I’ll try both ways, hehe. Just to make sure. And don’t worry about it, it’s no problem. Sorry for the delay though! I’ll get to it as soon as I can. Cherrie, thank you dear! I took your advice. We talked, not exactly a heart-to-heart but enough to make him understand that I can’t give him anything more than friendship. Lindsey, oh, it’s so good to hear from you hun! I’ve missed you. Thank you! Ate Ems, yup! I’m planning to take up another course. Thank you! Trixie, haha..I know! It’s nice to think that “money can’t buy happiness” but sometimes, I think it can. But that kind of happiness is fleeting. But I’m digressing. haha. Anyway, lucky you! I want to marry for love…but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to. *sigh… One of the things on my “Before I Die” List: Find the guy who’d be worth the trouble of getting married. Tee, thank you! I hope you’ll visit Anecdotage often! Snez, haha! Belated Happy Easter! Yep, you’re absolutely right! LOVE SUCKS! Hannah, I thought he’d actually matured… I guess I was wrong. I don’t want to generalize but he’s just like everyone else. I have yet to meet a guy who knows how to treat a girl right. Amy, those are GREAT ideas! I’ll tell my best friend and my sister about them. I have a lot of things I want to blog about but I just haven’t gotten the time to sit down and start writing. I guess the reason I want to go back to school as soon as I can is because I’m afraid of losing more time. I’m so afraid of getting stuck doing something I don’t really love because I’ve seen it happen to so many people. Rach, were you able to find a four-leaf clover? Oh, I do hope you’ll come by Anecdotage when you can! Hmmn… “Change is the only permanent thing in this world.” Sandra, thank you! Deanna, yep! CHEATERS SUCK! Gaaaaah! I wasn’t able to use your link for TextLinkAds. I’m really sorry! I’ll try to get my friends who own sites to use your link if they decide to sign up. Ai, thank you! Belated Happy Easter! Chette, thank you for applying to become affiliates with my Lee Da-Hae fanlisting! Waaaaaah! You’re the owner of the Lee Ji-Hoon fanlisting? Gaaaah! I MUST join! I thought I already had..*sweatdrop*