Transient Dreams

Let the light pierce through the darkness Close all old accounts, turn a new leaf Re-learn that old lesson of friendship Kill nor be killed, settle for lessening Amidst us of this fossilized hatred

Transient Dreams

glimpses of life… silence and chaos; laughter and tears…

Perhaps that time has not come yet when our, Gods would listen to the beats in our hearts, peace and happiness spread their glow, perhaps we would have to force Mother Time?.

In No Uncertain Terms

I’m multitasking — blogging while working on three different projects. I’m almost done with the copy (text) for the DESKPUB self-promotion ad — I’m going to send it off to our assistant leader in a while. I’m still working on the DESNCON promo ad for Kenny Rogers Roasters. AND I’m also working on the script for my radio play for SONDESN.

Hmmn… According to some psychological researches, men are unable to multitask. I don’t want this to turn into a debate — I’m not about to make sweeping generalizations about the opposite sex nor am I going to be a traitor to my own. The truth is, I don’t really believe that men can’t multitask. But I have to agree with some of the research findings, men can be a lot more focused, maybe that’s why some people think that men might find it hard to divide their attention — it’s just a matter of putting things in context.

Okay, moving on…

I’ve made a decision about school. I’m going to file for a Leave of Absence next term. My reasons (in no particular order):

I need a change of environment.
I’ve had enough of studying! I’ve been studying non-stop since I was three-years old. Oh, I had some time off every schoolyear whenever I ended up in the hospital — I used to get sick a LOT.¹
I’ve proven to myself that I can excel in something that I love. I was afraid that I’d taken up Psychology due to fear of failure. If I had failed at art, I think it would’ve made me dark and twisted.²
I’ve come to believe what they say about how art should be kept as a hobby; pursuing it as a career has taken the fun out of it. I used to think that I could design for someone else and still be happy but I’ve realized that I love art because it gives me the freedom to express myself and doing it for someone else has started to drain my creativity. I know that things are always like that in the beginning, that someday they might be clamoring for my designs,³ but I know that would take years. Eventually, it would wear me down and then I’ll probably end up living in a box.⁴
I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with Jim while he’s here. Two weeks can fly by and I know that whatever happens in June, it’ll change both of our lives forever. I want to eliminate distractions. I want to be able to think clearly. No second-guessing. I would do anything to keep him in my life because I truly believe that we can make each other happy… I have the best boyfriend in the whole wide world!

I have been thinking about this for almost five months now. I’m certain that this is what I want to do. I’ve asked God for countless signs and he has given me every single one.⁵ And the people who know me best have told me that either way, I have nothing to lose. M-Rize said that I should take a leap, close my eyes and let it take me… Pao said the same thing. He knows how I’ve always been afraid to take risks, of building dreams with someone again…afraid of getting hurt.⁶

The current term will officially end on the 19th of April. Then I’m going to file for LOA. After next week, the future is wide open. After Jim’s visit, I plan on looking for a job — probably one related to my first degree (BS Psychology). But that might still change. All I know for sure is that I want Jim to be a part of my life from here on out.

Still wondering why I decided not to pursue medicine? I’ve had enough of hospitals too. ↩
I took a Which Grey’s Anatomy Character are You? Quiz and the results say that I am most like Meredith Grey. It’s important to note that I was never as broken as she is. ↩
haha! I wish! ↩
Jazel knows what I mean. ↩
Jim is an answered prayer. Since we met, I’ve been praying for God to guide me and everything seems to lead me to him. I feel like he is my past (long story - a few people already know, I’ll share it someday), my present, and my future. I’ll know for sure in June. ↩
Pao knows that better than anyone. We have a lot of history together and that’s one of the other reasons our relationship never worked out. I’m glad though…we never would’ve ended up as such good friends if things didn’t turn out the way they did. ↩

13 Apr 08 | Tags: DESKPUB, DESNCON, Jim, lists, multitasking, plans, schoolwork, SONDESN
| Anecdotage, Life, Relationships, School

12 Responses to “In No Uncertain Terms”

Simply Precious | April 13th, 2008 at 10:43:31 am

*hugs* Good luck with all of this.
Angelica | April 14th, 2008 at 8:02:34 am

I think those are all very good reasons and I say go for it! After all you’ve got your entire life left to study. I think it’s very good to take a break after having studied for so long. I think when you go back to school you’ll be more motivated. Good luck with everything!
Sue | April 14th, 2008 at 1:28:58 pm

It’s good to take a break. I took a break from school as well and dropped out in March of last year. I was pursuing computer science, and the classes were very challenging. Then stepping back, I realized my interests were elsewhere. I’m now thinking of pursuing a career in graphic design, so it’s somewhat of a different situation for me than with you. I have thought about whether or not I’d still enjoy art if I did it for someone else, and in the end, I still wanted to give this a try. I’m going to minor in computer science as a back up plan. Psychology is a pretty interesting field to go into, and well, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to pursue.
Kay | April 15th, 2008 at 12:18:23 am

A break from school is good. I took 3 semesters off. Not good! But I’m back and ready to go again. [sigh] I really missed it.

Men can’t multitask, just don’t tell them that directly.
Lisa | April 15th, 2008 at 2:59:57 am

Men, can’t multitask. I have to agree with that. My hubby sucks at it while I am usually doing at least 5 projects at once.
Tro | April 16th, 2008 at 4:28:46 am

I’m horrible at multitasking, it could be that I have ADHD but not sure…doesn’t help I’m also a horrible procrastinator lol
Holly | April 16th, 2008 at 9:19:51 am

I fail at multitasking…I think I must secretly be a man! o.O
Charity | April 18th, 2008 at 3:28:29 am

I multitask constantly because I can’t seem to keep myself from doing so. LOL

An LOA from school is probably just what you need. Time to relax without having to worry about grades, etc.
Chette | April 19th, 2008 at 2:42:45 am

You want a change of environment? teehee.. serve the church and you’ll see… man… multi-tasking in church is really tiresome! but the reward is out of this world
Trixie | April 19th, 2008 at 8:44:10 am

Time off sounds like something you are in need of. I completely agree about the art. I always enjoyed it as long as it was for ME but when it was something I had to do for someone else and do it the way they wanted it then it just became frustrating work
I can’t even blog while being in one IM LMAO and you were doing 3 other things at the same time! WOW!!
snez | April 19th, 2008 at 9:27:05 am

Down with school i say! Who needs an education or qualifications? Yeah I’m multi-tasking a lot these days too, pressure can be good sometimes
angela (despair) | April 19th, 2008 at 9:51:17 pm

Wow good luck with everything.

And the whole multitasking thing, I think most men can multitask, they just don’t do it as well as women do :D

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