Let the light pierce through the darkness Close all old accounts, turn a new leaf Re-learn that old lesson of friendship Kill nor be killed, settle for lessening Amidst us of this fossilized hatred
Transient Dreams
glimpses of life… silence and chaos; laughter and tears…
Perhaps that time has not come yet when our, Gods would listen to the beats in our hearts, peace and happiness spread their glow, perhaps we would have to force Mother Time?.
How to Deal with a Manipulative Brat
I finally completed the 101 Things About Me challenge!
Yesterday was one of those days when I wonder why anyone would want to have kids (don’t get me wrong, please refer to #67 on my 101 Things list).1
I went to visit my cousin at the hospital with my mom and my seven-year-old cousin (Benette’s sister). On the way there, my mom told us that we’d be stopping by McDonald’s because wanted chicken nuggets. She asked what she wanted. Oh, and of course she decided to be a brat again! My mom always tells us that me and my siblings were never like that — see, we had loving grandparents but they NEVER tolerated bratty behavior. Si , walang pinipiling oras o lugar! (rough English translation: “Chestnut doesn’t pick a proper time or place! / Chestnut’s impolite to EVERYONE when she feels like it!”).
When we got home, I was incredibly tired. I literally couldn’t open my eyes — I was that sleepy. And it was only half past seven. I was looking forward to being able to sleep through the night (something I haven’t been able to do for the past year). Of course I couldn’t go to bed yet because I promised that I’d let her play on my laptop for a while. We had an agreement that she’d stop playing the minute I told her it was time for bed — and she did! But the minute she laid her head on the pillow, she started sobbing. She kept me up half the night! She wouldn’t even tell me what was wrong! I was sorely tempted to just turn my back on her and cover my ears but I love kids and can’t stand seeing them cry. I just kept on hugging her and patting her back. She got all sweaty so I got up and tried to find her another shirt — she didn’t bring that many clothes when she decided to sleep over a few days ago so I had to find one of mine that was small enough so it wouldn’t fall off. I couldn’t find one in my closest so I started to make for the door to go up to the attic because I remembered my other cousin left some clothes here when she spent her vacation with us. Right when I was about to open the door, she spoke up and told me that she was crying because she couldn’t find her favorite game. Of course I knew she was just being manipulative. I have been around kids all my life — with personal experience, the things I’ve learned from Developmental Psychology and Child Psychology, and the fact that I was their age once upon a time, I know how their minds work. Let me tell you, SHE IS THE BIGGEST BRAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN!
I honestly don’t mean to disparage my aunt and uncle’s parenting skills — hey, we’re talking about my favorite uncle here! I, for one, think that my uncle is the best dad ever. He was one of the people who took care of me while I was growing up and I know I turned out okay.
Please take note that I said, “manipulative brat.” This does not apply to ALL kids. Most kids can be reasoned with and would actually be willing to cooperate as long as you remain kind and gentle.
- Recognize manipulative behavior.
It might be a good idea to look at yourself first. Is there anything you resort to doing just to get what you want? Kids usually resort to crying when they can’t get what they want (and adults have been known to do it too) — that’s the number one manipulative behavior. - Do not underestimate them.
You’ve seen how fast kids grow up these days. You’ve noticed how they already know things we had no idea of when we were at that age. So don’t ever underestimate the workings of their minds. You think they don’t understand but oh, they do! They know how to pull your strings and get you to do what they want, especially when they know you love them. - Do not overestimate them either.
As much as kids are able to understand these days, you have to spell out exactly what they did wrong. Tell them that their actions have consequences. Tell them that they hurt you when they act bratty — if you have set a good example and have shown them the value of non-material things such as love, they would go out of their way to please you. - Show them who’s boss!
If they start crying, let them! Do NOT let them get their way. They are just trying to manipulate you to get what they want. You have to set rules and boundaries or they WILL just find new ways to torture you. - Employ diversionary tactics.
Yes, kids can be successful at manipulation but adults can be even better, simply because they know more. Kids have low attention spans, that’s a fact. So find something else to keep them busy and slyly get yourself out of an undesirable situation. - If all else fails, compromise.
You will live to fight for another day!
But whatever you do, don’t ever resort to physical punishment. Children thrive in loving environments. Most of the time, they are just calling for attention. The best way to prevent a child from becoming a brat is to spend quality time with them.
And brattishness aside, I really do love .
You know, even though I know all these things, it doesn’t make me any less afraid of having kids. I often ask my mom what her secret is, how she raised me and my siblings to become good people. I wonder if I would be able to do the same.
- 101 Things About Me, #67: I love children and want to have my own someday. I’m not in a hurry though. I want to be able to enjoy having my husband to myself. And honestly, I am quite daunted by the idea of being responsible for another human being. ↩
16 Responses to “How to Deal with a Manipulative Brat”
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Woah! Congratulations on finishing that!! WOW. Hehe.
But wow, I do know what you mean about bratty kids. I’m not arounds kids a lot now, but I believe that’s a good thing because I can’t stand how bratty most kids are… =/
This reminds me of something my parents told me about my childhood. When I was a baby, just before bed, I would start crying (presumably to get more attention & make my mum stay with me) & my mum would give in, read me another story or whatever. My dad had sense though & told her that she had to let me cry & realise I couldn’t always get my way. Although it was hard, she did manage it - even if it meant sitting in the garden so she couldn’t hear me haha. It feels awful to think I ever did that when I was young, but I guess most kids act up at some point… just up to the parents to sort them out!
I understand what you mean about bratty kids. I don’t know many, but there are a few bratty kids that I have to deal with occasionally. Thanks for that information, it will help to deal with them.
Oh what a great post! We all have days like this especially when the kidlets are getting on our last nerves. It has been especially hard for me lately since I also have two step sons along with my two boys to deal with over the summer. How much longer till they go back to school?
btw, thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog! Your site is super cute!
I love kids, but brats put me on my nerves! I also want to be a mom someday
Btw, I loved this post =)
Thats some good advice, I’ll have to try that when I babysit.
Haha interesting read. My family has to deal with some young cousins now ( all in grade/primary school at the moment ) and they’re really having headache doing so. The eldest is definitely one of the most manipulative and selfish brat I’d ever seen >_>;; I kinda pity her younger siblings because as far as I remember even when *I* was a selfish brat, I never bullied nor manipulate my brothers to get my way ( which she ALWAYS does, but her Dad is just too blinded to see :\ )
Oh btw I’d meant to ask you. Do you mind if I add you to my Blogroll? There’s always some interesting food for thought from your posts here ^^
101 things, eh, that is pretty intense, I will have to read it for when I feel up to the challenge (I can only imagine writing it, I mean if you are not going to really change it too much, alot of pressure!
)
Im glad you have such great literature on bratty kids! Honestly though, I think mostly that if two similar sane people raise a kid that should work *shrugs* such are the mysterys of life.
yeah, she is a brat. haha. But its sweet that you love her so much.
I feel the same way as you do in some sense. I can have a baby right now. But I rather be married. I want to spend some time with my husband before we decide to make the family bigger.
I like being able to spend on myself. It’s one of the purks of not having kids just yet. When I see kids crying in the mall or over stupid stuff, i thank my lucky stars i don’t have one.
My brother and one of my sisters are the biggest brats I’ve known. At least when they were younger because now they’re kinda grown up. I definitely recognize that manipulation you wrote about and I hate it so much. I hated it when they were doing it and I hate it now. I don’t want kids at all. They’re too complicated.
Kids are confusing beings. You would think that since we were one a kid ourselves we would be able to better understand how to get them to do what we want. But we don’t haha. Anytime a child starts crying I pick them up. That’s probably going to spoil them after a while. I would love to have a kid of my own. I wouldn’t have to worry about other people and raise them according to them. Right now all I have are other people’s kids to play with and I try to follow their rules as much as I can.
101 things? That´s amazing! Ive problems write some short autobiography..
Children absolutely terrify me in the ways that I’m worried I’ll hurt/break them. I know how fragile they can be. You honestly sound like you’d be an amazing parent; an example would be Chestnut isn’t your child yet you stayed up and comforted her when she was crying regardless of how tired you were. A good parent would always put their child before them. If it had been me I’m not so sure what I would have done.
My girlfriend is the same way as you, she takes care of her little brother and I admire her so much for her ability to put everyone before herself.
I want a child as well, but the fact that I’ll have someone to take care of is daunting and freaky. I’m not how well I’d handle that responsibility.
Well, Ciao.
Argh sometimes I really want a baby and then other times I cant stand the sight or kids! I don’t know, I’m sacred I’ll decide I want kids when I’m already old (30) and then I’ll be an old mum
I sometimes think my son is on the verge of becoming a little brat. Grandma spoils him when I’m not around and I need to punish grandma for it. My son knows how to get what he wants and he takes advantage of that with his grandma.
I love my son though and it amazes me how different it is to have your own child to teach and comfort. It’s very satisfying and it makes you feel whole.