Let the light pierce through the darkness Close all old accounts, turn a new leaf Re-learn that old lesson of friendship Kill nor be killed, settle for lessening Amidst us of this fossilized hatred
Transient Dreams
glimpses of life… silence and chaos; laughter and tears…
Perhaps that time has not come yet when our, Gods would listen to the beats in our hearts, peace and happiness spread their glow, perhaps we would have to force Mother Time?.
Setting an Example
My four-year old godson Jaize Darren was here yesterday — I haven’t seen him in months and he seems so much older now..and still as inquisitive as ever! “Ninang,1 what’s this / what’s that?” AND He kept asking about Jim. “Ninang, why does he have blue eyes?” LOL.
Then his dad, my cousin Jason, told me that Darren now has a girlfriend. haha. I think he was just looking for the perfect opportunity to tell me about his girl. LOL. Here’s what happened next:
Dinnertime.
I sit next to Darren and ask for a kiss.
He smiles but turns his head away.Me: “Aww… Why won’t you give me a kiss?”
Darren: “I have a girlfriend.”
Me: “Hey! I thought we had an agreement. You can’t have a girlfriend unless I meet her first!”
Darren: “Yes, but you never come over to our house.”
His dad and I exchange looks. I wink at my cousin, laugh then go back to eating.
After a while, Darren starts telling me about his girlfriend.
We finish eating.
Darren walks over to me, raises his arms for a hug…
I bend down and he gives me a kiss.haha! I grin.
I’m still number one in his book!
Hmmn… It’s really nice to see that my cousin has started to straighten out his life. I guess he finally realized that we’ve given him all the help we could possibly give… Now it’s time for him to help himself. His son really looks up to him and I guess that’s one of the other things that pushed him to set priorities. He has another child to think about now. His youngest is just seven-months old. She’s a lovely baby.
Anyway, what I really wanted to blog about was this:
Darren’s words (”I have a girlfriend.“) really struck me. I’m so proud of him! He knows you’re not supposed to go around kissing other people when you’re “in a relationship.” My cousin has always been known to be quite the ladies’ man. Come to think of it, ALL of the men in my family are, in my brother’s words, VERY friendly with women. But I know Jim would disagree — he has a different concept of that term. Lookie:
Jim: Oh hun, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant I got the most beautiful one of them all, only a ladies’ man could have done that.
Okay, he’s my boyfriend. He’s biased.
Anyway, I guess my cousin has finally settled down. He’s faithful to his wife (they’re not actually married but they will as soon as they have money saved up — they have two kids to worry about and they’re definitely more important than planning a wedding), he provides for his family, and he’s given up most of his vices.2
My brother has too. He and his girlfriend are planning to get married, probably in 2010 — they’re still saving up for a house.
So here’s to reformed rakes! 
We all know their fate. They love only once and when they do…they can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Wait, that’s not exactly true is it? Let’s see… Imagining… Well, “they can look but they can’t touch.” 
You know what I mean. LOL.
See, I’ve never cheated on any of my previous boyfriends. I never even dated two guys at the same time. Even if you aren’t “officially” together, it’s just not right.
One of my professors told me, “If you’re going to enter a new relationship, you have to make sure that this new person is better than the one before. Because if he isn’t, why did you even break up with the first one? There must be some improvement or you’ll never be happy.” Then he went on to talk about fidelity.
I always think back on that conversation… For me, honesty and trust are the two most important things in a relationship because “Love cannot live where there is no trust.”
I truly believe that Jim is the most wonderful man I have ever met. I couldn’t AND wouldn’t cheat on him because then I’d have to find someone better than him. Before we officially started “dating,” there where some guys I liked enough to date (though I never did because I was too busy with school). I think about them now and I’ve realized that the things that attracted me to them are qualities that Jim already possesses. And on top of those qualities, there are so many other things..little things that he probably doesn’t even notice, that make me like him more. Why would I want to find someone else? He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. 
11 Responses to “Setting an Example”
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This whole post is very true. And I must agree with your teacher. Glad to hear your cousin is straightening up his life. Kids will do that to ya.
Take care.
Wait, did I just hear you say you’re proud of Darren and his relationship ways… at the age of FOUR?! =P
It’s great to hear that your cousin is doing well now, especially with children. There are some people that just mess around in life, and even having kids don’t influence them to make some positive changes for the sake of the child. That’s sad to see.
I agree with you about relationships too… every relationship I’ve been in, I made sure the guy had better qualities/aspects than the previous guy (sometimes in particular areas that had hurt me, and therefore I make sure to avoid it in the future). I don’t regret any because each relationship was a good lesson, in a sense, to show me what things that I cannot tolerate, and raised my standards to what I deserve in a partner.
I could never cheat either, even when things were ‘unofficial’. Unless you made it clear to that person that you are interested in someone else… but I’d still feel horrible for giving them an idea in the first place.
Man… I don’t know why but I lag like crazy on your site. I can type a sentence and sit here for a minute watching the sentence being typed out on screen lol.
Awwwh, your godson’s so cute. And yeah, it is good that he knows the basic rights and wrongs to be in a relationship at his age. He’s smart. And goodluck with you and Jim! He sounds like a real keeper =]
Aww that’s cute, that’s good that he knows you aren’t supposed to kiss other girls hah. But that’s good that you’re still number one! =D lol It’s good to be number one
Hm yeah well some people have things to prioritze you know, that’s just how life is, things happen and well there has to be adjustments made to make things work. =)
Aww well I totally agree with the relationship thing. I could never cheat on anyone, I don’t see what the point of cheating is really. I don’t know. I really love the boy I am with too, and you know you are right you can’t see yourself being with anyone else cause you’ve been with this person for a long while and like so many little things about them. Life’s just good with them =D.
Take care
xoxx
Hahahah, wow that’s so cute that your 4 yr old cousin has a girlfriend already! I wanna know the details cause I’m so amazed by this, lol! Palibhasa 18 na wal pa ring boyfriend eh. =))
Men like your cousin are the kind of men to be proud of. They know how to stick to one and be faithful, honest and just everything a ‘perfect man’ can be.
And I give your family.. yeah, including you in general for being the type of people who takes this kind of thing seriously. Unlike some people dive in to relationships early without thinking then they go through 3472894 relationships.
I agree w/ this one!
glad to see u seem to b having a wonderful time with godson
Aww, your godson sounds so cute haha! I think it’s definitely a good thing that he knows you’re not supposed to go around kissing other people when you’re ‘in a relationship’. Too many people these days can’t seem to grasp that concept!
Your godson sounds adorable. You’re lucky that you’ve found someone. I’m hoping I will too someday.
Haha, such a cute godson!
I’m glad for your cousin. Interestingly enough, my best friend was just telling me about some quite she found the other day “reformed rakes make the best husbands”.
Dude he is so cute. You should be proud. I’m glad everything is working out for them. The men in your family sound perfect. lol. Though is there such a thing?
WOAH! That’s crazy that he’s only 4 and he has a girlfriend! Haha, but I’m SURE his definition of a girlfriend is TOTALLY different than our’s. =P
But yes, I know what you mean about the whole cheating thing. I would never do that either.
Yep, I know EXACTLY what you mean about how the next guy has to be better than the previous. Yeah, I don’t want to get into it, but I do know EXACTLY what you mean. I also know what you mean about how other guys also have the qualities that the guy you actually like have.