I know I haven’t updated this blog in too long. I’m going to start posting again and hopefully get this site as active as it used to be. A lot of things have changed in my life — and I couldn’t be happier — so it’s time to start writing again. ^_^
I hope you guys haven’t forgotten about me!
*NOTE: This is NOT a sponsored post. I am helping a friend with a project.
Read on and visit the link! Help us spread the word about Project Faith!
You are living a lie.
I have observed you. I see you. I record your actions. You are sent here, among many others, to die a misinformed, despicable death for no more reason than children pla10ying at stones.
Lies. Fabricated, engineered, and embellished to protect a government, or a fragile peace–if such bloodshed can be called peace, for truly if the truth is revealed, all will be shattered–a mistaken utopia that your rulers have spoon-fed you. A utopia of utter ignorance even until the moment you close your eyes for the last time, alone and decimated on an alien world. A world where the ability to see through patterns shimmering beyond the silken smoothness of deception is brutally smashed, where reality is often denied to those most willing to obtain it.
You are fighting a war, but it is not a war that you have hope of win31ning. You and your enemies alike are mere pawns in a greater struggle, even beyond the mortal concept of good and evil. A struggle that has defined this universe for much more times than you can imagine, a fate that is hidden–for unsealing it will destroy the entire constant of reality; a destiny that is kept secret for eons beyond count.
So you fight, and kill, and maim, and destroy and die. So you engage in petty squabbles as the grains of the sands of time trickle to its last. So you continue your arrogant ways and your misguided beliefs that you are supreme, that you are God. But no more. Now, you will finally see.
When the curtains are raised, and the caulk on your eyes lifted, you will see.
You will see… that there is much to this world that you have not dreamed of existing. That such heresy08 has been kept under the sublime professions of loyalty and service, doctrine and creed. And that who you are, and what you are, is the last pawn, the finality of a fate so long ago decided. It is a fate that, however it had been decided, YOU MUST STILL UNDERTAKE.
A fate that will shatter your faith.
Are you prepared?
You will see.
Have faith–or your fate shall destroy you.
~D.A.
Test your faith. October 31, 2008.
By Zanyuki
So… I have a new theme. It’s not as great as the last one I had up but hey, it took me just a few minutes to make it! It started off with multiple sidebars but coding was a pain. 
I’m sure we all feel the same way about Internet Explorer. Oh well… This will have to do! It seems to be working fine in Mozilla Firefox, Opera, Safari, and IE but if you encounter any errors, please contact me so I can fix it.
Rose Letter — not very original, I know. And the first WordPress theme I ever made (years ago) was called “Letters” – pfft. It was so…green. LOL. I’m happy with this one because it’s widget-enabled. 
Yes, I got the name from that image I used for the header. It was part of my Time (concept) portfolio for FOTOGRA. I can’t remember the title I’d written down for it.
Let me know what you think! I still need to add some stuff to the stylesheet but I’ll do that later — probably sometime next week. I have to get some sleep. I promised my mom I’d go to church with her at 6 AM! Then we’re probably going to be busy for the rest of the day. Good night! 
EDIT, 12:52 PM: I’m redoing some of the images and the coding so things might be a little wonky.
EDIT, 03:31 PM: Done! I changed the background to a light color. I think it looks better now.
EDIT, 06:12 PM: Expect Version 2.0 before October. I really, really want to spruce this up. I feel like something’s missing.
EDIT, 19 SEP 2008, 01:24 AM: I couldn’t sleep so I worked on the theme again… This is Version 2.0! haha. 
Thank you to everyone who commented on the first version! ^_^
EDIT, 19 SEP 2008, 02:07 PM: I changed everything around again. Back to dark colors. pfft. It suits my mood anyway. I’ll probably change it again in a few days.
.. . . .
Hey! It’s Thursday!!! Supernatural!!! 
I wish it would stop raining…
I just got off the phone with Jim. It was so great to hear his voice again…the highlight of my week. :( Oh I miss him so much…
.. . . .
Site-wise:
I changed my theme! This one is called Notepad Chaos, designed by Evan Eckard. It reminds me of Web Designer Wall but I like the colors of this theme better.
.. . . .
*sigh…
I told my mom and my sis that it’s time to bring out the Christmas decorations. Yeah, Christmas starts in September here in the Philippines. Last year I think we had a blue and purple (or was it green?) Christmas. This year it’ll be red and gold. — We’ve all been really down and it’s not just because of the weather. Maybe getting into the Christmas spirit will cheer us up a bit.
.. . . . I need to rant.
I’m so sad…and disappointed. All these years I’ve we’ve been hoping for my dad to change. He had triple bypass surgery and people encourage him to take better care of himself and become a better person — he was given a new lease on life and he shouldn’t waste it.
Sometimes I wish he’d pretend to care, even just a little. All he does is complain about how he doesn’t have any money. He earns earned a lot but he hides it from us, leaving us to fend for ourselves while he spends it all on people who drop him the minute he runs out of money. We catch him in his lies and he still keeps at it. Sometimes I wish I was dumb enough to believe him. It makes me so angry that he acts like it’s everything’s our fault! But guess what?! We weren’t the ones who spent his money! We weren’t the ones who decided his “hobbies” were more important than putting food on the table, paying bills, and making sure that we didn’t have to worry about having a roof over our heads when we wake up in the morning!!! And it certainly wasn’t us who decided that some cheap thrill was worth throwing away what little respect his family still had for him.
Whatever happened to:
“The most important thing you can do for your children is to love their mother.“
??!
“Hey dad, we found a lipstick stain on your shirt! I have to tell you, that hideous red is probably not your best color.”
A couple of days ago, I couldn’t sleep so I stayed up and read for a while… Around 4 AM, I heard the gate open. It was my dad. I felt like I was in elementary/high school again — back then he’d come home drunk (which always seemed to happen during my exam week) and start cursing, throwing and breaking stuff..yelling at my mom. Then he’d go to MY room and sit on my feet (to make sure I’d wake up) and yell some more. Let me tell you, it was the worst thing to wake up to. My siblings were in college then and lived far away so they never understood what my mom and I went through. You just never forget those things. Especially when he hasn’t changed. 
I remember the last time he got drunk..it was just a few months ago. My mom and I were downstairs, keeping an eye on things – making sure he wouldn’t break anything and hurt himself. I’d had enough. My mom told me to go upstairs and he put his hand on my arm and I shrugged it off. I wonder if he’d have hit me if my mom hadn’t stepped in.
We’ve always been there for him. No matter what he did, we were there when all of his so-called friends abandoned him. And all we get for it is disappointment and heartache.
All I really want to say to him now is, “You disgust me.“
I’ve sorely neglected my blog. Actually, I’ve neglected ALL of my websites for the past two months. I just have a lot on my mind. Not all of them bad or depressing, mind you. Just complicated enough to keep me from wanting to blog about anything. Honestly though, I’ve been feeling alternately sad, frustrated, and hopeless. There are times when I’m really happy…but now those moments are few and far between. I want to get away from all of my problems, even for just one day. But that wouldn’t solve anything, would it? *sigh…
Maybe I should start drawing again. Maybe even paint — but I don’t really like painting..and I’ve packed away my paints and brushes. Besides, I don’t think I’m very good at it. I feel terribly mediocre. Who cares if I got top marks for the work I submitted in school? I don’t feel so creative anymore. I studied MMA for a whole year yet I feel like I have nothing to show for it. What am I really good at anyway? I think I’ve gotten tired of art.
I went for a long walk with my sister yesterday… We were out for two hours. On the way home, we noticed that the stars were out. I stood on the sidewalk just staring up at the sky for a good ten minutes (wishing we had a roof deck – haha). It was nice… But I was still upset by the time we got home.
I feel so alone… 
Argh. My first real post after 2 months and it’s..depressing. pfft.
Maybe that’s why we hold on as hard as we do, we just can’t believe such a miracle can happen to us twice…but it can, someday you’ll find it again. ~Eddie Alden, Someone Like You (2001)
P.S. Something’s wrong with my RSS feed. There are no timestamps! Anyone have any idea what I should do?
I’ll be returning comments tonight or tomorrow. I’m going to have lunch then finish editing some stuff for my dad. 
…
You know what? I really miss Jim.
Yeah, I just had to say it. It took me far too long to publish this post because I couldn’t think of a title. Then I looked over my shoulder and saw Jim’s picture on my bedside table… Oh, I can’t wait to see him again…
