[College] I got all of my course cards. Almost made the Dean’s List. But it still isn’t meant to be. Besides, I can’t deal with the pressure of having to maintain my grades when my mom hasn’t even resorted to badgering me every morning to pull them up. I don’t want to have to say, “you brought that on yourself,” when I start to crumble under stress.
Bennyppe and I still haven’t found an apartment. *sigh.
[Life] The past four days have been very trying. I’ve kept myself busy just so I can stop thinking… about everything. I was starting to have doubts about taking on a part-time job but now I think it’s actually a good thing. I had my first (informal) training the other day and I witnessed some of the executives in action. Good thing they seem like approachable people, otherwise I’d feel thoroughly intimidated. I have to train again later (since it’s already Saturday) and I’ve been invited to Daniel‘s birthday but I probably won’t go. I’ve been out for three consecutive nights.
Tuesday, I was feeling depressed. I spent the late afternoon crying. It made my cold worse but I couldn’t stop. And to top it off, I ruined my shujin‘s birthday. *sob. I really didn’t mean to… Hopefully, I’ll be able to make up with him later… I’ve been wanting to call him since Wednesday but I haven’t been home much and when I was home, I couldn’t get near the phone. And I need to buy a new battery for my CP. It keeps dying on me! *sigh. I miss him… But there’s no excuse for ruining his birthday even though I was feeling horribly low so if he hates me and doesn’t feel inclined to forgive me, I’ll just cry my heart out and mope around the house until it’s time to go to school again / move into the apartment, whichever comes first.
Wednesday, I saw Bangkok Haunted 2 (last full show – didn’t get home until after 1 AM) with Bennyppe and my sister Leslee. Spent a while texting Bennyppe since we didn’t get to talk (which was the purpose of our movie date). Didn’t get to sleep until 4 AM.
Thursday, I accompanied M-Rize to the hospital. I was so worried about her… We were on our way home when she told us that her vision was becoming blurry. We sat on the benches near the conservatory but it started to get worse so Jenny and I took her to the clinic. She started panicking. The nurse took her blood pressure and made her drink pain relievers. We led her to one of the beds and tried to get her mind off it but she wouldn’t stop crying. She was terrified that she might become blind. I suspected that she had high blood pressure and I remembered how one of my grandfather‘s eyes is half-blind because of a blood clot. And of course I couldn’t tell her that! I told her that she was probably just having a severe migraine. She had a few symptoms like mine so I was hoping that was all there was to it. We stayed in the clinic for a while but they had to take her to the hospital just to be sure. She kept telling us to go home but I knew she didn’t want to be alone so I insisted on staying with her. We spent three hours in the hospital while she took blood tests. The male nurses in the ER kept us amused. We even ran into one of our classmates who had a brother there. Around 8 PM, I was starting to worry about getting home. My mom wanted to pick me up but she didn’t know the way to the hospital but luckily, M-Rize’s mom offered to drive us home and treat us to dinner – which I would’ve found a way to get out of because it just didn’t seem right – I did what I did because M-Rize is my friend. Anyway, I didn’t want to impose on her so I just asked her to drop me off at a gas station where I could wait for my mom. Good thing she was already there when we arrived. I know M-Rize’s mom would’ve insisted on driving me home. I really hope M-Rize is okay now…
Friday (just a few hours ago), I went to the mall with my mom, my aunt, and my sister. I would’ve gladly stayed home and just slept through the night but my sister would have made a nuisance of herself and bullied me until I agreed to go.
…and I still haven’t recovered fully. My head still feels like lead most of the time and I feel like I’m going deaf – my cold is promising to get worse before it gets better. I’m nervous about the training because Icy isn’t going to be there but Lucky, Char, and Oliver will hopefully take pity on me and make things a bit easier. I just hope I don’t have to make any calls during the training because my voice still isn’t back to normal.
Sunday, I have to attend a meeting at 9:30 AM then I’m going straight home to spend the rest of the day with Beh.
[Q&A]
Anne: can i ask ya? how can i create a beautiful site? can you share me codes? pLz.. and aLso, how can i create a good layout for my site? pLz repLy aSap! thankees..
Do you already have a site? If you do, it’d be easier if you gave me the url so I can tell you how to improve it. Then maybe I can help you on some other codes. Hmm… About making a layout, you can try using Adobe Photoshop or PaintShop Pro. I’m more familiar with Photoshop though. Just email me about what you specifically need help on.
Anonymous: wjere on yor site is the scanlations of fullmoon wo sagashite
Oh, I think you’re looking for Jessica‘s site, Metaphrase. It’s currently on hiatus. Please check back in a couple of days.
Niki: I feel bad that i haven’t been online as much… =/
Don’t worry, Niki dear. We’re all just patiently waiting for you to get back. We miss you…
[Bai Bai] I’m tired and I just want to crawl into bed… Maybe tonight exhaustion will put me to sleep instantly. Fat chance! With my luck, I’ll probably be awake until 4! Bah! Oh, before I forget… Chris, you are one lucky guy. Congrats! Je, happy birthday!
[Quote] “True love is a fortress from all sides. It will help you withstand the fierce storms and angry seas of misunderstanding.” ~Anonymous
And I’ll never be able to look at chickens the same way again! Anyway, I want to thank everyone who commented on my last blog. You really cheered me up! 
I’m slightly happier now but I’m too exhausted to dwell on my current altered state of consciousness. 
You can now visit the collective at 
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